Remembering Erma Bombeck on her 99th birthday

Erma Bombeck was born on Feb. 21, 1927, and would have been turning 99 if she was still with us today.

Bombeck, a native of the Miami Valley and UD grad, was best known for entertaining folks throughout the country through her humorous syndicated column, “At Wit’s End.” At one time, the piece appeared in 900 newspapers around the country with an audience of 900 million.

She also authored 15 books and was a regular contributor to “Good Morning America.” One of her books, “The Grass is Always Greener over the Septic Tank,” was adapted into a television movie starring Carol Burnett. Bombeck also produced, “Maggie,” a sitcom based on her own life.

Credit: HANDOUT

Credit: HANDOUT

Bombeck, who lived in Centerville when her children were young and she began writing her popular column, quickly became one of the Miami Valley’s most beloved celebrities.

Bombeck’s writing career really got its start at UD when she wrote for “The University of Dayton News.” She also wrote for the Rike’s department store employee newsletter.

Old-time Daytonians may recall that Erma was a neighbor of another illustrious Daytonian, TV host Phil Donahue. When she moved to Arizona, in the 1970s, Erma’s neighbor was Bill Keane, the “Family Circus” cartoonist.

PHOTOS: Erma Bombeck through the years

5 classic Erma Bombeck quotes

On what would have been Erma Bombeck’s 99th birthday, here are five quotes that give a glimpse into her thoughtful and humorous look at life.

• “Do you know what depression is? It’s sitting in your doctor’s examination room. In a paper dress. On a cold table. And it’s the high spot of your week.” (from “Dumpy Paper Dress--March 31, 1977,” which appears in Forever Erma)

• “I wasn’t behind the counter five minutes when I spotted a prospective customer heading toward the door. Using the old running tackle that brought victory to Notre Dame in 1935, I apprehended him. ‘I don’t believe you’ve seen our notions counter,’ I said, jumping up and down on his chest. ‘Of course, it’s merely a suggestion.’ His eyeballs fairly popped as I choked him with a roll of seam binding. ‘Naturally if you’re not interested, we never force a sale.’ ” (from a 1947 newspaper column on her first experience as a sales clerk in the notions department)

• “I worry about getting into the Guinness World Book of Records under “Pregnancy: Oldest Recorded Birth.” I worry what the dog thinks when he sees me coming out of the shower…” (from “If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?”)

• “Next to hot chicken soup, a tattoo of an anchor on your chest, and penicillin, I consider a honeymoon one of the most overrated events in the world. It’s one of those awkward times when you know everyone else had a better time than you did but you’re too proud to admit it.” (from “If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?”)

• “We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.” (from “Family- The Ties that Bind…And Gag!)

Interesting facts about Erma Bombeck

• A budding writer: As a 15-year-old student at Patterson Vocational High School, Erma asked the managing editor of the Dayton Herald for a job. When told only a full-time position was available, she arranged to share the position, as “copygirl,” with another student.

• Sweet sixteen: Her early position didn’t include writing, but she was able to interview Shirley Temple (they were both 16 at the time) for the newspaper. She received the “feature of the week” award from the staff for the story.

• Household hints: After graduating from the University of Dayton in 1949, she began working for the women’s section of the Dayton Journal-Herald. Her first columns were headlined “Operation Dustrag” and offered household tips and reviewed new products.

• The start of her personal style: Erma and her husband Bill started a family, and she put her career on hold. But in 1964, for $3 a week, she began writing a column for the Kettering Oakwood Times. Eventually, the Dayton Journal-Herald asked her back and paid her $50 a week for two columns.